I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
