how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
