Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
not ubering you a puppy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
