I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So many bounce houses so little time
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
