All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So drunk its hurt
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
