i think i have herpe
just one?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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