3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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