Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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