I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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