he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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