Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
