don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
