were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
