sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
