I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
