I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
