well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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