CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
