I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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