So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
