Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize