Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
