I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
