mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
