I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
