It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
