Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
MIDGETS
????
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
