It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
