Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my being single is dangerous.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
