I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
