The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
