It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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