fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
