apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
