youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
