Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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