he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Randomize
