i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
