Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize