i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
