Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
