I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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