gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
