Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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