eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
