I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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