I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
