I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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