Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
