Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to sanitize my soul.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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