shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
