I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize