just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize