Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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