the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
