He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it because I queefed?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
