do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
