I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
