i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
