i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
