Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
