What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
